I'm having an "I don't really want to be here" week. Yesterday was a full day of midterms for the entire school (teachers excluded). I don't give tests, so on test days I have no class and no responsibilities... I don't even grade tests (for the most part... I help read some short answer responses sometimes). So yesterday I came to school armed with my Japanese text books and some things I needed to research on the net. Unfortunately I quickly discovered that the Internet was dead. Ugh. I studied as hard as I could but there are only 4 levels on this Japanese proficiency test and I am stuck between levels... I've passed 3 with flying colors and 2 is TOTALLY beyond me. I was soon cross-eyed from staring at kanji. I was actually attempting to study grammar, but since I couldn't even read the question... I didn't get very far. Definitely an additional stumbling block to studying Japanese instead of Spanish. I've been studying on and off for over ten years and I'm still functionally illiterate. It makes me want to cry.

And that all only got me through the first half of the day. I stared at the ceiling, I sent e-mails via my phone, I read all 3 newspapers from the weekend, and even tidied my desk. "I was bored to death", to quote one of my students from a recent journal entry. Anyway, Today is day 2 of no classes since the teachers are busy handing back tests and explaining the problems. And the internet was down again this morning!! I almost lost it. Back to studying. The worst part is that I've sworn I will never bring a book (i.e. fiction, for entertainment- not study purposes) to school because it is such bad form and want to at least look like I'm working... (ha!). But yesterday, as I walked down the hallway I saw several teachers sitting in a test-taking classroom- novel in hand. Argh.

I had an annual formal meeting with my school principal today. He meets with all of us this week to begin working out staffing decisions for next year. The school year ends in March and before then he needs to figure out who is staying, who is going, where they are going, and who will replace them. My interview was less serious than the others (I am imagining) because he has a lot less responsibility for me and for choosing a succesor if I leave. I am also on a different timeline, since my contract lasts until August. However, since he was already in the zone... he made me pretty much spell out my current feelings. Though I tried to convey my indecision split between a) going home b) going to Tokyo or c) staying... He just heard me say that I'm pretty much not staying... and plans to convey that to the Board of Education. Now, while that may be what happens (and is most likely), I just started this year... for crying out loud!! Now I'm feeling totally pressured about it. He was very cool with everything, but apparently doesn't appreciate gray areas very well. Oh well. I've gotten quite committed to the thought of finding work in Tokyo next year, so I'm not too worried.

While we were at it, I also asked him to approve my plans to head to Thailand in November (during the term final tests, another 4 days of doing nothing) and Christmas. He approved so I'm completely set!!

Finally, Jaclyn and Danielle are at this moment awaiting the results from their second attempts to get Japanese drivers licenses. I am watching my phone waiting for the word. They both went to driving school this weekend and hopefully gained enough advice to squeak through. I will be very relieved when at least one of us is driving legally again. I get my own first chance (again) to take the test on Thursday afternoon. I'm not very nervous because I have just about no chance of passing. It would be nice to actually officially fail this time though, so I can go take some lessons (official stamp of failure is required at the driving school for some insane reason...). Maybe by my third trip out there I will have jumped through enough hoops... but I was just chatting with another AET who didn't get her license until her 3rd test, which make it 4 trips for me. I hate this process. Update after the test!