A Loss

My grandpa passed away yesterday and I'm kind of at a loss for feeling. Obviously, I'm really sad. I miss him because I'm always missing him... being on the other side of the world does that. But I'm missing him on a new level for the simple reason that he's gone and I can't see him one last time or say goodbye. I've known this was coming but it was still a surprise. He's been pretty miserable, both physically and emotionally for years and I know he would have wished for the end sooner rather than later. But I still mourn our loss of his company and presence even though it has lingered away to not much as he's withdrawn from the world. I am sad for my dad, who has lost both his parents. I'm so, so sad that Grandpa was alone.

I am relieved because I am sure he is relieved. But I will continue to miss him and wish people didn't have to get sick or grow old.

I miss my grandpa.