Brook has been known to quote me on his websites, so now I'm going to start stealing from his. He wrote this very clever survey-to-end-all-surveys and it totally cracked me up. Here is is in its entirety... please use the comments link to share your oh-so-witty answers. You don't have to answer them all... just pick one and let us know The Truth, ok? I'm sure Brook will be touched. ;) (and dude... you can thank me later for ignoring some of the other pictures I have of you!).
Yeah, you know those surveys that you always get... either by email or after reading someone's bulletins or whatever... well I decided that I wanted to create my own. The others suck and have no heart. No crap. I wrote this, it was my work, and it may have been inspired by many things, but I did not copy any of it... so yes, this is MY idiocy, this is MY wording, and I really care to see how you answer it. Or don't, it is just kinda a waste of time, but it might be fun, you never know.... I know I'll probably laugh at your answers at least once! Feel free to completely make up your answers... Give it a rip. You never know...this may be the first of a few... we'll see what kind of response I get.
1. What's the worst middle name you've ever heard of (make one up if your answer is William)
2. Have you ever actually paid any credance to a fortune cookie? If so what did it say and was the cookie stale?
3. If you had enough money that you could live totally comfortably regardless of your profession (not rich necessarily) what would you do for a job (I'm looking for an actual job here... not "save the world" and yes for some reason you have to work even though you have enough money)?
4. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being a whole lot more than 9), how much do you think your parents have influenced your life? Did they forbid you to eat sugary cereals like fruity pebbles or count chocula? They had to do something weird... right? Spill it.
5. Compared with real comentators and news broadcasters of old (see Walter Cronkite for an example), exactly how much does today's news broadcasting/journalism suck? (Your choices are : a lot, very much so, a metric butt-ton or an english butt-ton)
6. Is it really possible that Vanna has spent her entire career just turning (or now touching) squares that light up? If not, what do you think she'd rather have done with her life :) (any answer here works, as long as it doesn't involve Pat in any way)
7. What possible reason would Bob Barker have to be so jazzed about spaying and neudering my pets? You tell me... was it a bad childhood experience or did his grandmother own a hundred cats?
8. Enough of tv stuff, why do you think its against the rules for people who sell pillows to tear those tags off? What do they have to hide? Where do the undercover pillow police hide in order to catch tag-rippers redhanded or is there another way to enforce this important law?
9. Name a stupid thing you like to do... pop bubble wrap, scratch off the silvery substance on every scratcher/coupon etc, run over traffic cones... what?
10. Name the goofy-est thing you've ever done in public. Think hard, this one better be good otherwise your credibility is shot.
Bonus question:
Come up with a good question. Make it absurd. Stupid even. Offer answer choices that don't even make sense. Don't spell anything right and please don't worry about the grammer. Then actually answer it. And don't forget to really give up the details. That's how I'll know whether you've answered it correctly.
posted by jaclyn @ 10/01/2005
3 Comments:
#2. Brook knows that I received a fortune cookie when visiting him in May, at PF Changs in Raleigh, that suggested that I would have significantly less responsibility in 30 days. Of course, I retired in June, and my stint as Rotary President was over the end of June. Thankfully, Grandpa Jerry is still around.
Love Dad
#1: Harry "S" Truman. "S" really was his middle name... it isn't an initial!
No. 5: Broadcast journalism does, indeed, as we used to say, blow chunks. It isn't just the lack of real commentators (by comentators, I assume the author of the survey means commentators) and news broadcasters (see Edward R. Murrow), but also 1.) the stations on which these casters cast the news, 2.) the short attention span of the American public (that is, people of the United States. I don't want to offend any Canadians or South Americans), and 3.) the idiocy of U.S. citizens. Why? 1.) The stations' only goal is to make money. Gone are the days when broadcast journalism was a public service and an asset to society. The awful adage "If it bleeds it leads" has been replaced by the more awful, "If it's not bloody or the weather, get it the f**k out of my face." 2.) U.S. citizens can't stay with one thing for a lengthy period of time, i.e., four minutes. The longest pieces in a half-hour slot are usually two minutes long, but most are about thirty seconds. 3.) Americans (in the States) are morons. There are plenty of interesting and amazing things happening in other countries, but if they haven't heard of the country or can't find it on a map (and most U.S. citizens can't), viewers don't want to hear about it.
In short, broadcast journalism appeals to the lowest common denominator. It's a good thing we have it, though. Otherwise, where would our president learn about what's going on in his country?
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