I think I've scared myself out of attempting to write a novel this month. If I had an idea or two (really just one would be better than nothing), I think it would be fun.. but I have a big zero of ideas. I'm a bit dissapointed, but I keep reminding myself of all the other projects that I've been neglecting-stuff like learning to play guitar, submit more articles for publishing in a Tokyo magazine, write letters to the students who've written me from Nagano and continue my long distance learning courses to get me out of being a travel agent for the rest of my life. So- my new goal is to get myself to the library and attempt to explain why the librarian should be my exam proctor for Macroeconomics. I've been dragging my feet getting over there because I don't know how to explain in Japanese and can't imagine the reaction once I do. Oh, and if he/she says yes I'll have to lay out $500 to take the class/buy books- plus start studying again. Ahem. But I'm going to get it done! ASAP. That will make up for bailing on a novel writing project (Snort... no, the novel writing sounds like so much more fun!).

My trial three months are up at work so I should be signing a real contract this week. I feel like something of a failure on the work front too. Though I'm not ecstatic about my job, I've done almost nothing to find a new one- beyond e-mail resumes/letters to companies with job openings on the web. Needless to say, I've got no other alternatives besides teaching English. So- the Japanese travel agency it is. It is far from horrible and I enjoy my colleagues- I just struggle to find much *point* to the work. That's probably a very naive expectation on my part, but this is only my fifth year out here in the full-time work world and I still cling to the search for meaningful employment. Something that does more than pay my rent.

Fortunately, I can still volunteer at Second Harvest Tokyo to fill that void. Most recently, I became the co-chair of a committee established to plan the creation of Second Harvest Pantry. Currently there is nowhere in Tokyo supplying emergency food. We hope the SH Pantry will become that place. Before we get working on the Pantry itself, we've decided to try to supply food to 100 families around the holidays. We're starting by trying to locate families that would participate as recipients. Its so overwhelming to be starting a project of this magnitude from scratch- especially when I have the image of what America's Second Harvest has accomplished in the back of my mind. At this point, its probably best not to compare. It will be a great challenge, that much is certain. I just hope what we create is of value to Tokyo and that it can be sustained by both the Japanese and the international communities.